Unwanted news

Well....where do I start? I decided to start blogging again after Jess started her own...and I decided with everything going on I really needed to start recording my thoughts.

I guess I should start with the news that has changed my life forever. The Sunday before Christmas I started feeling sick, then on Boxing Day I started having abdominal pain. I was admitted to hospital on the 26th of December 2012 with suspected appendicitis and had surgery the following day to remove the appendix. After surgeons had removed my appendix and found it was normal they found fluid and decided to investigate only to find a baseball sized mass on my right ovary. Surgeons then removed my ovary and fallopian tube as a precaution...which was still a shock when I woke up and found out what had happened. I was told during this time that everything would probably come back normal and to go and continue with my plans to go to America to see my American family and friends.

I went to the States and was there all of 12 hours when I got the phone call that would change my life forever, the mass on the ovary wasn't just a cyst...it was cancer. Cancer...i couldn't believe this was happening to me. I remember shaking uncontrollably when mum told me the news...but I also remember the strength I felt sharing that moment with my American family. I spent four days in the states surrounded by people I love more than I can say and will be forever grateful for them and their positive attitudes.

I arrived back in Australia and the next day went to hospital to get a clearer picture of what was going on...only to find out that the cancer had spread. It wasn't until we were in Hobart seeing a specialist that we found out it wasn't ovarian cancer but in fact bowel cancer. Bowel cancer...it feels like something only older people get....surely I was too young...I wasn't that unhealthy...what was going on?? Even know doctor's can't explain it...they can't explain why I've had no symptoms (apart from the Christmas episode), they can't tell me how long its been there or how it started. I am thankful to know though that my siblings and parents are clear...we made sure each was checked out...although that was an incredibly stressful time for me...I couldn't imagine handling the fact that one of them might be in the same situation I am in.

For now i'm doing a mixture of conventional and alternative medicine...chemo, a Chinese therapist/accupuncturist, an alkaline diet and bi carb with maple syrup and just praying that it works...everything in my life has been put on hold. I can't plan much...I can't plan more than a few weeks ahead and has really made me rethink what is important. Things dont matter...money doesn't matter...past squabbles (however much they hurt) don't matter...you have the ability to change your attitude. There's a real chance I wont be able to do many of the things I have dreamed about or share in many amazing memories that are yet to happen...and that scares me...a lot. People ask how I can think or act the way I do with what is happening....but I know it is God. Without him I would be on the floor a lot more than I am now in tears and wondering 'why me' a lot more than what i'm doing now. All I can say is i know what is important. God and family are number one...without question. I have the most amazing family. I dont know how I got so lucky to be able to call them mine...mine forever. Each one is amazing in a different way...and in ways that I'm ashamed to say i never fully appreciated until something huge like this happened.

For all of you out there reading this...cherish each moment...each precious moment with those who make you smile...maybe make you a little crazy at times...but who love you unconditionally. Dont' let little disagreements rob you of precious memories and time with your family. Don't wait for a wake up call to fully appreciate them...like I did. Remember what is most important and hopefully if (heaven forbid) anyone else goes through what I am currently struggling with then they wont be saying 'how dumb was i or i wish i had appreciated that moment more'...do it now. I love you my beautiful family...my literal family and those who have become family. You are each amazing and I am so thankful to have you in my life. My amazing friends...what can I say :) I'm fighting this so that we can hopefully have a lot more fun in the coming years ;)

Jetlag

It's crazy to think that I've been home for over two months and slightly scary to think i'll be starting uni again next week. I was thinking about all this today as I was battling with UTAS about how much credit they were going to give me. Turns out that 18months of study in the US is equivalent to 2 subjects credit and a year here is worth one subject and one placement. I was so tempted to pack it all in, save up and go back to the states to finish off my degree because it'd be heaps quicker. It's kinda scary to think how tempting that thought was. Don't get me wrong I'm loving being back in Aus and being able to work, enjoy the sunshine and beach and driving on the left hand side of the road (seriously) but the honeymoon period is definitely over and the itchy feet are back. Ah well I guess there's a bright side to all this...I have my next trip to look forward to...whenever that is :) But I guess here's to itchy feet and the end of the honeymoon....let's hope I get used to being back....sometime soon :)

A long awaited summer

Wow...is pretty much all i can say when i thiking about what's happened over these past few months and probably over the past 2 years. Well i guess I better start by saying that I'm officially back in the land of Aus and will stay here, for a while at least and finish school...which is a good thing...i think.

November and December were incredibly busy months with thanksgiving, finishing school, exams, saying goodbye to everyone and the big move home. Not saying I would change anything (except for my homework procrastination...whoops) but man now that i'm on holiday mode I've got no idea how i managed to get it all done.

The highlight of November was definitely thanksgiving, especially becuase I was lucky enough to have two. The weekend before thanksgiving the family I was living with and I went up to Provo canyon and stayed the weekend in a cabin. It was absolutely beautiful..snow everywhere, the cabin was gorgeous and it was so nice to relax and forget about (almost) everything :) The next weekend I had another thanksgiving with Kayla, Colt, Dalan, Lisa and Glenna before going to my first black friday sales. One of the best bits about thanksgiving is the food hands down but having a holiday that focused on being greatful was definitely a good thing :)

Anywho, before i knew it school was finished and I was packing my bags. Still hasn't really sunk in that i'm not going back to the states for a while, or that I actually managed to get the bulk of my stuff home :p Saying goodbye was not a fun thing to do, especially because there's been heaps of people who've either felt like family or have been amazing mates and helped me feel at home. They know who they are and I can't say thanks enough...lol this time i'm saying it without tears :p

Before I flew home I was hoping i'd be able to wake up to just one day of snow and I'll admit i was beginniing to get quite annoyed at the lack of snow considering how cold it was. I woke up the day I was to go home resigned to the fact that I wouldn't get it. It actually took me a while to figure out that the place ad become a winter wonderland overnight...must've walked past the window a dozen times before i realized and my mouth definitely hit the floor when I did. It was absolutely beautiful even though it only stayed for a few hours.

I was nervous about the flights home after what happened last time...this time I mentally prepared myself for delays, possible missed flights...I had even prepared myself incase I was questioned by immigration, although as I was returning home I was pretty sure there was a small chance of this happening again...thank goodness!

Tell you what, it is so incredibly amazing to actually get a whole summer which has been an absolute beauty so far :) I definitely missed the simple pleasures of going swimming in the dam or at the beach or even waking up Christmas morning warm and having Christmas breakfast with the family. Speaking of Christmas I will take a second to show one of the pressies mum gave me- its a touch lamp....but not just any lamp...its a globe so that I'd be able to 'see' Utah anytime i got homesick for the place. My mum is amazing that way :)

I suppose I'd better wrap this up ad I'll do that with a few pictures of my time in Utah and of new years but I guess the word I want to finish this post with is 'thanks'.

My American Family :)

Winter photos with Jess and the Nelson's

Bit of fun after a Jazz game in Salt Lake

My first camping trip at Bear Lake

New Years :)

Two Aussies, Three Weeks, Four States part 2

After a gentle nudge from a mate (thanks Lisa ;) ) i figured it was time to get this blogging thing back up and running and finish off the highlights of Jade's visit :)

After exploring Idaho and much of northern Utah we decided to head down to Vegas and stop in St George on the way via Manti. Getting to Manti was qutie the experience with the GPS deciding that a dead end road in the middle of nowhere was just as good as the Manti Temple. After getting stuck behind some sheep, finally finding a paved road again and more importantly stopping to ask for directions, we made it to Manti.

From there we made our way to St George and stayed over night so we could hang out with Heather :) St George was a bit of a whirlwind, as we only had time to hang out with Heather and visit the Temple before heading down to Vegas.

Vegas...what can i say. Of the drive down I loved the bit through Arizona...the canyons were amazing. It's kinda funny to think that if nothing else my time in Utah has got me to appreciate rock :p Anyway, Vegas. The outlets are awesome and there are some pretty cool things to see on the strip but we only had a few hours so we didn't get to see a whole lot but i reckon between us we must've taken a few hundred photos to make up for it.

Well, i reckon that's about it for Jade's visit :) it was a heck of a lot of fun although i will admit i crashed for at least a week after she left...i'm not even kidding.

Two Aussies, Three Weeks, Four States part 1

As I look out my window and see the mountains covered with clouds and hearing the promises of snow tomorrow, I decided it would be the perfect time to reminisce over the past month. About a month ago a certain Aussie rocked up at Salt Lake City airport eager for a month of fun and frivolity...of course this person was Jade. That day was amazing, not only did I have someone who spoke my language (because as many Aussies living in the states know, Australian english is a foreign language :p ) but she had brought with her some much needed supplies in the way of chocolate, milo and lollies. As I said the day was amazing :p The first week she was here we explored pretty much everything there is to see around salt lake...and dont worry mum I still went to my classes ;)

The first Friday Jade was here we decided to go up to the land of potatoes and visit Rexburg. On the way up we stopped in Lava Hot Springs. Our original plan had been to actually go in the hot baths but, it was't to be. Was cool to see a lot of the places I hadn't seen since my first trip up, even if we didn't have time to take advantage of the springs :) Once we made it to Rexburg we were able to spend some time with one of Jade's friends. While he was at school we did a little sight seeing and found the world famous potato musuem and the museum in rigby-the birthplace of television apparently. Sadly we couldn't make a decision about which one to go to and missed out on both...although i have heard they are quite the experience :p We toyed with the idea of going to Canada once we realised how close we were, but turns out Jade was the only one prepared for anything. She had her passport etc while I had left my passport and immigration documets at home...i know...i'm kicking myself. Any who after a few fun days in Rexburg it was time to come back down to Utah, school made a habit of getting in the way of many of our holiday plans :p On our way back we stopped in Pocatello for a stretch and to give my poor car a rest. While we were there we were able to have a quick catch up with a friend of mine I hadn't seen in around 2 years.Was definitely fun to say hello, especially because it'll be quite some time before i'm back up that way again. It's weird to think i'll be going home for good real soon and wont get to road trip it like this for a while...one of the few vices of tassie-youre quite limited as to where you can road trip.

 

Anywho, ill leave that there but i figure this covers our adventures around SLC, Park City, Idaho and most places in between :p Part 2 includes everything between Logan and Vegas so i'll get on that soon :D

A Weekend of Football and Conference

Well, this weekend has not at all turned out how i thought it would...I was expecting a quiet weekend full of conference and homework so that when Jade FINALLY gets here i'll have a lot more time for play. As it turns out, that's not at all what happened but i'm far from complaining :D  Just before I got home from school on Friday I had a call from Alex asking me if I wanted to take her extra ticket for the BYU vs Utah State Football game. Of course I jumped at the chance, while i may not necessarily like BYU it is still fun to soak in the atmosphere of college football...its hard not to have a smile on your face when thousands of people are all cheering and dancing like no one cares :p The one downer of the evening (well there were two but theyre connected) was as Utah state looked like they had won the game with only a few minutes left, Alex and I decided to leave and beat the rush back to the car (once we actually found it). A few minutes after we had left the stadium we heard an almighty roar followed by an even louder one...there was only one conclusion...there had been an awesome play made by BYU and they had won. Ah the ups and downs of college football.




The field...its not as big as it seems



Bronco instructing the troops

Wouldn't be a football game without cheerleaders and a mascot

Alex and I

Anywho, the next day was the beginning of the general sessions of conference. Conference is generally awesome, so its no suprise that I heard and learnt things that were very pertinant for me at the moment. After the first session I got a message from none other than Shady herself informing me that she was in fact in the United States. As if the weekend wasn't already amazing enough already! It was hard to contain my excitement while chatting to her during her stop over in L.A, although my little jig of excitment on the front lawn may have reconfirmed to the neighbours that I am in fact weird. I say reconfirmed as thanks to the 'first day of real snow' incident my weirdness was already confirmed.

Shortly after hearing from Jade I got a message from my American mum asking if I wanted to join her and Cassie at the Utah vs Washington game while the boys were at the Priesthood session of conference. As excited as I was for the BYU game, my excitement for this game was even greater...can you half tell I'm a Ute fan? ;) While the game wasn't exactly how we'd hoped, it was still awesome being there, soaking up the atmosphere and seeing all that red. I'm hoping to take Jade to a game while she's here and fully convert her to the Utes...but i guess we'll see what happens there :p

Ah check out all that red ;)

Well, as conference has now finished for another 6 months (and to those of you at home i highly recommend watching it), there's only one more thing to look forward to until Jade gets here on Sunday and that is watching the AFL grandfinal. Ah....life can be pretty darn awesome sometimes ;)

Waiting for the calm

What a week! (and i'm saying this with still 2 days to go before its officially over). It's been all systems go with the theme of the week being missions. On Sunday Nate (one of my house mates) had his mission farewell; he gave a great talk and the get together afterward was fun. As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, I got a certain text message that night from home saying Dan had got his mission call. As it turns out he is going to the one place I said he wouldn't go...Auckland New Zealand..figures :p Still, my little brother is going on a mission...wierd. The only thing that bites about this whole thing is I wont get to see him for another 2 years, but then I guess he'll be where he's supposed to be :)

Dan and Great Grandma

Tuesday involved a trip to Temple square with Nate to find some absolutely delicious raspberry muffin tops. However, distaster struck when we were told that those muffin tops our now only baked three days a week....definitely a blow. However, one consulation is the fact that we were in Temple Square on a beautiful day when it was relatively quiet. What else am I going to do but take photos? ;)

This one was an accident but i like it ;)

Lovin the colours :)

Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty full on too as Nate got set apart and was dropped off at the MTC. With all of this, it really got me thinking about Dan and home. You'd think i'd be used to being away from the place by now but nope....ah well...it's a learning experience right? :) Here's hoping getting used to the US again wont take that long...even if I still have people asking me to speak English ;)

My American Family :)